actually I am trying to write my blog with english, so maybe I will mix with bahasa when I am confuse. after I came from India and that was not so good than my first time travelled to South East Asia. I fall there some wrongs with my soul. but I didnt know that.
I tired this morning, 3 days I worked only me. my young brother has graduated from high school and didnt help me, his reason has been teaching in drive school. I can did all but I was always angry saw they didnt care and avoid me to worked harder. I cried and think that I should out of my house. I should be leaving them.
I have been waking up 4/4.30 am every day and trying work all out, sometime I always do 3 jobs in one time. my heart is no problem with that, when I saw my brother is easier than me, my heart said was not fare, I am angry if met him and did anything badly. my parents sometime talked that I was (Crazy). I canot accept..
I have often never talk or made comunication with my father, I always hate him and feel he is arogant man who is playing me. I am student of university and will graduated this year, he is happier if I being ordinary employe. I have ability, someday planer, dicipline, hardworker and can trust. but in his mind I am like dont have ability, even I have been crying when remember that I am like usefull.
I know they are more precious for me, I can get anything that I got and happened in my life, it is because theirs did. but maybe now I sholud be leaving this environment. I work to collect save money, hope I can save $AUD 5000, its need long time. maybe 1 year or more. but there much ways, I have been tryaing to get schoolarship. I wanna be succes and can be give what I have to others, I must be harder again.
and each one, I tried to write with english.